Gone Fishing
Laissez faire Laurentian elites
Well, it's summer again, and like any other children, Canada's cabinet ministers have all buggered off for several months. Still, that hasn't stopped our Drama Teacher in Chief from his seasonal travelling roadshow. Unfortunately, however, his usual madcap performances ring less amusing this year. Trudeau pretending as if he has an iota of sense of what being on a tractor entails or produces seems savagely ill-conceived on the back of another of his Draconian, eco-zealot bills designed to reduce nitrogen and consequentially food production as the world approaches a global famine. I'm confident this, as with all of our Great Leaders initiatives, will end splendidly. As splendidly as Sri Lanka's profitable and progressive realization of utopia.
After 2020's "Summer of Love," this is nothing but a gathering of peaceful protestors.
Alas, Trudeau's rural photoshoots may soon come back to haunt him (as so many others do) should Canada's farmers follow a similar revolt to their compatriots in the Netherlands. But, of course, people get a bit upset when you try to rip away their holdings and livelihoods, an observation particularly true among those whose hands are dark from soil and toil. So, I'd say if you want to know how Nature works—her moods, her needs—you should probably ask the stewards of the land. Or Greta Thunberg, our divine emissary of Gaia. Greta seems to have a balanced, rational approach and a broad understanding of agriculture, the interconnected systems of finance, distribution and environmental science that feed our world.
Look over here! Greta's just having a moment. I'm sure she'll have sage wisdom for us again once those pigtails of hers loosen a bit. Tight hair makes for an unyielding mind! More concerning, how will Trudeau explain to the CBC faithful that the people with whom he was so recently chummy turned out to be racists, misogynists and LGBT-phobes?
Who am I kidding? The Liberal electorate has a memory like Swiss cheese; selective reasoning is the best. For the happily stupid, blackface was just a bad suntan, Jody Wilson-Raybould was an uppity injun who should've minded her business, and SNC-Lavalin and Trudeau's portfolio of ethics scandals were simple, forgivable accounting errors that anyone could make when filing their taxes through Turbotax. Still, with the Covid narrative in shambles, the cognitive dissonance dial has been cranked past maximum, and the propaganda mill's spokes are sparking, sputtering and smouldering from the grist of lies they churn. How much more can my fellow countrymen endure? (Or countrywomen, or countrypersons, lest I find myself “making others unsafe” and being visited by my local constabulary.)
Other mixed signals emanate from our DTIC, or his resident wicked witch, Freeland, on our ordained duty of protecting Mother Earth from our profligate abuse of fossil fuels. Her Wickedness told us that eye-watering fuel prices were a blessing in disguise since we could all take a moment to reflect at the pumps on the ashen ozone-raped future that lay before us. I believe that's what so many of my countrypersons contemplate as they squeeze the trigger and watch the numbers on the screen climb higher, faster than a monkey on speedballs. Perhaps, too, they're wondering how big of a crisis our impending planetary doom might be when their Great Leader has spent 2/3 of his travel in the air? I guess you need to fuel an emergency to fix a crisis. Or something. I'm not an esteemed member of the WEF or a thespian-cum-dictator, so forgive my plebeian presumptions.
Were Trudeau around, or our media capable of anything but fellating his ego, we might have answers to these questions. Instead, our Great Leader has left us for the sunny ways elsewhere that he promised here. Another $60,000, fuel-splurging flight landed him in Costa Rica. Although, I'm sure he'll stay up to date on his tweets and moral, environmental and spiritual admonishments.
In fact, I think he just graced us with another of his pedagogies a moment ago.
